One Week Old!

Charlotte is a week old today and I cant believe how the time has flown. She has opened up and stretched out a lot in a week and she is pretty darn cute and soft.
We had lots of guests (family) in the first few days, but it became a little too exhausting to have people coming around while trying to learn baby's cues and get enough sleep, etc...so this week, we really aren't taking visitors at all so that we can really get the rest we need. A few close friends and our family members have been dropping off yummy foods and picking up groceries and that's been wonderfully helpful.
I am still lying-in with Charlotte, and will not be using the stairs (at the direction of my midwives) for yet another week. Its very hard for a type-a person like me to be confined to one floor (our house is three stories), but I know that its an investment in my body and health to remain upstairs as long as I can, and to properly heal after that pretty intense and traumatic birth. Plus, I know that once I venture downstairs, the babymoon is over and life begins again, and I am not quite ready for that anyhow. So, Charlotte, Mike and I are spending lots of time getting to know one another and we're all three developing a bit of a rhythm. Tomorrow Charlotte gets her newborn screenings done by the midwives, and we see the pediatrician next week.

The challenges:
Breastfeeding was off to a tough start, but it is going MUCH better since Peggy Stedman, a lactation consultant (and my Sister in law's mom) came by on Monday to give me pointers. In fact, last night I was even able to nurse her lying down which was good because I was feeling really spent and could barely sit up. Sleeping has been a challenge of course, but the most surprising thing for me has been how bad my body is feeling....still.
My jaw, pelvis, tailbone, butt, back, legs and feet are all aching like I was hit by a car. I am super sore and achy. In Labor, I pushed for a loooong time (reviewing he photos it appears I was in labor for 22 hours, but actively pushing for at least 4-5 hours), with very little energy (I threw up alot after contractions) and so I htink my bod is still in reaction to that event...Next week I hope to see the chiropractor, but for now, I have to live with it....So that's the biggest hurdle today...being tired is nothing compared to the body achiness. And then, today I think I may be developing an infection (mastitis) in my right breast, which tells me I have probably been doing too much, so I am trying to take it easy, keep nursing, and keep positive...and will it away. Oh, and the mothering hormones kicked in a few days ago and I find myself very weepy at night, especially when I am feeling sore and tired....so I sound like a mess, and it sounds like a lot of griping, but truthfully I am keeping it in perspective...I know that this too shall pass, and I love little Charlotte with all my heart and I wouldnt hesitate to go through it all again for her.

Mike has been wonderful throughout this --At the labor, he was so engaged and a wonderful coach. I was so impressed -- most men I know would never have handled that experience as well as Mike did. He didnt avid anything, and he was totally and 100% there for me. And all this week, he has been so thoughtful, so helpful and so sweet with Charlotte. He has to go back to work tomorrow and I am dreading it. We will miss him.

My mom has also been stellar -- She was an amazing help at the birth, and ever since, she's been showing up here each morning at 7 and bringing me breakfast, giving me time to take a shower and letting DH sleep in in the other room....and then she goes off to start her day. Its been wonderful and special for me and Charlotte to see her each morning...and that's something that no one except my mom could really do for me. I dont know what I would do without her. When I was feeling horrible and weepy and we needed a "traffic cop" the other day to answer the door, phone and tell cleaning lady what to do, she was here. She has been throwing our laundry in, emptying trash and just doing a million little things to help us out.

So that's the quick update. We're good!

oh Baby!!!

Welcome Charlotte Anne Dunn!Born at Home on February 14, 2007 at about 10 p.m.

Charlotte's Birth Day

The Natural (unmedicated) home birth was an intense but amazing experience. I had Charlotte right in our bedroom and we really couldn't be happier that we did it at home - especially because I certainly would have been C-section bound if I had been at hospital...the way things unfolded would have been way too slow for the hospital staff but the midwives (all three of them) were super supportive and they really helped keep our spirits up. One of the midwives has been back each day to check on us and will be checking on us for the next six weeks. The first day was (expectably) a bit rough because of lack of energy, lack of sleep and all 3 of us adjusting and of course, lots of family visitors. But it was so nice to wake up here at home and to be able to stay out of the freezing weather...and so we're living in a bubble right now, enjoying a babymoon. I am not using the stairs for a week to promote faster healing so Charlotte and I have been hanging out in bed, Mike has been helping with everything he can, and my mom has really been helping out a ton with just kind of keeping things going (making and bringing me food, handling laundry, trash and kitchen duty,etc) and I think we're off to a great start.

More photos to come...

39 weeks...and counting

So no baby yet. Actually, I did some research and most first time mothers go at least 5 -7 days past their estimated due date. My estimated due date is somewhere between Feb 17 - Feb 20 (depending on which method you use to calculate) so I am trying to be patient and realistic...based on statistics, the baby very well might not come for another 3 weeks. And since we are planning a natural homebirth, we won't even discuss induction or worry me about being "over term" until we hit 42 weeks. So it may be a long month!

So here is a rundown of the baby gear I think we will really need for the baby's arrival and first few months. Most of what we have amassed is due to the generosity of others and came as a hand me down or gift.

1. Car Seat: Got the Primo Viaggio Infant seat as a free hand-me-down from friends, so we will be using that and then investing in the Britax convertible seat we planned to get as soon as the baby outgrows the free seat.
   
2. Crib: We got the Arm's Reach Mini-Co-sleeper as a shower gift, and we intend to use that as a sidecar option for our bed until the baby gets bigger. Many friends of mine never needed a larger crib, they just co-sleep, but we are going to just see what works best for us -- We do happen to have a fancy crib as a backup, but I dont know if we will end up using it or not. We'll see. The super-fancy ultra cool Black Bugaboo Gecko Stroller that my parents gave us came with a detachable baby bassinet, which I plan to use as a crib/ Moses Basket when I need one downstairs.
   
3. Slings/Wraps: Maya Wrap was a gift from my sister-in-law -- and I know it will be handy right away; We also borrowed a Moby Wrap on loan from my friend Virginia, because apparently they are great for newborns, but a bit too stretchy for when the kid gets bigger. We got other carriers for later on, but basedon testimonials from friends, those are the ones I suspect we will most use in the first few months.
4. Clothes: We were lucky to get lots of hand-me-down infant clothes, but I bought a few gowns at Target (to make nightime changes much easier), a few little hats and some socks just to fill in the gaps. I still want to get some of these Zutano Booties, which my friends swear by. I also have a great red (hand-me-down) Lands End Snowsuit, so I have a feeling the baby will be wearing that a good deal in the beginning...Oh, and my friend Virginia gave us some Rainbow Baby Legs, which are absolutely adorable.
   
5. Diaper Bag/ Changing Stuff: We converted an old kitchen cart into a changing table by securing a pad to the top of it. As for a bag, I did buy a Little Tripper from Land's End, but I also got a large plastic changing pad and waterproof bag and I plan to use these interchangeably with my messenger bag or hiking daypack when I need a larger diaper bag... I just don't see the point of buying a fluffy looking diaper bag. Lord knows we have enough bags as it is!
   
6. Diapers: Since the volume of waste to landfills is significantly lowered when using cloth diapers, and we know so many people who successfully use cloth diapers, we're going with cloth diapers. So, we secured a diaper service (about $15 /week) for the first six weeks... (we have gotten our first delivery already and boy are the cute little diapers!). We also have some Seventh Generation Disposables on hand for travel and night time but I hope not to use disposables too much. Eventually we may move away from the service to washing-our-own diapers after the first 6 weeks (which seems much much cheaper than buying disposables or paying for the service), but we'll see....
   
7. Nursing bras/gear: We were lucky enough to get the Medela Pump in Style as a gift which will be terrificly helpful as I do plan to go back to work and wold like MIke to have the ption of feeding the baby too. We also got a My Brest Friend which my cousin Lisa gave us, and swears by (over the Boppy). I also got recruited for a nursing feedback group at Motherswork, which is going to supply me with several free nursing bras and tops to try...All I have to do is go to their feedback sessions once a month and report on how I like the products!
   
8. Books: After the Baby's Birth: A Woman's Way to Wellness: A Complete Guide for Postpartum Women by Robin Lim, and The Baby Book by Dr. Sears are the two books that I got that I think will be most helpful in our first few weeks.
   

For now, that's our basic list of the stuff we think we will actually use right away. I look forward to seeing how right or wrong I am!

38 Weeks and counting

 

Here is a glimpse of the ever growing belly. Just a couple more weeks to go!

Weekend wrap up

The best news of the week is that on Friday the plumbing work began, and Saturday, our plumbing was finally fixed completely. It was a fiasco but we're happy to report that its over. Mike's parents had a lovely baby shower for us on Saturday and we spent Saturday night recovering from the week and putting together the Bugaboo Gecko Stroller that we got at the last baby shower...what a cool stroller...but what a lot of pieces! Yikes! I don't think I will ever figure out how to fold it up!

So now we are 37 weeks along and only a few short weeks from the baby's due date and its interesting to look back on this blog/journal at some of the things I said we were thinking about and to see how my perspective has already changed...For example, I mentioned in a previous post that one of the things we have been thinking about is a "lying-in period" of two weeks with no visitors. Its still an intriguing idea, but now that we are getting closer to the baby's birth I feel nervous about committing to something that might potentially feel very isolating for a social person like me. So, while I think we will try to use the first two weeks (while Mike is home from work) as family bonding time (no household chores or entertaining only baby and eachother care) and will limit visitors in that first week to our immediate family (parents and siblings) members, I am also becoming more open to changing my mind about it all if I need or want to. I know we will need and want help but I also feel nervous that I might get overwhelmed by people trying to help, so its hard to know what the right balance is and how to plan for it...I guess I wont know really til the baby arrives! Perhaps we will take our parents and siblings up on their offers to come over for brief visits to help us with meal preparation, chores and extra laundry during that time, then hire a post-partum doula to come help me one or two days a week after Mike goes back to work...who knows!

I guess we have been nesting...the plumbing fiasco finally got me going I guess and I snapped and madly started purging and organizing. I touch-up painted the third floor steps and made a huge goodwill/giveaway pile, then I listed a ton of stuff on craigslist and cleaned up the house and organized the birth kit gear and the starter baby clothes. Last night with the help of Mike's brothers we got a new "loaner" couch from a designer friend who needs to store a leather sofa for about 6 months. Its a nice piece and it gives us some time to get rid of the uncomfortable daybed (selling it on craigs list) and really look around for a new couch without having to live with a huge empty space. We also visited the old loft we used to live in, and got a cart that we are trying to make into a changing table. This morning we interviewed a pediatrician and at noon the cloth diaper guy comes to deliver the first load of diapers and show me what to do. Tonight me and baby mcdunn are going to the orchestra with my mom while Mike gets some down time to putter at the house (he isnt feeling good or sleeping well poor guy). Tomorrow is (hopefully the beginnning of the plumbing work project, and Saturday is the 2nd baby shower (Mike's side) so I am sure I will be organizing all that stuff on Sunday. Next week I have a cleaning woman coming to help get the house cleaned up...Whew! reviewing that list makes me tired... yes... I would say that I am nesting!!!

I am trying to get this stuff done now so that next week I can begin to turn inwards and calm myself in preparation for the birth and baby....I can already feel that I am ready to pull in and be a little more reclusive which is exactly what is supposed to happen at this stage in the game.

One of my midwives was in Morocco last week to do a birth and she is keeping a blog -- and reading about her experience there has also made me realize that once this week is over and the plumbing thing is handled, I do indeed need to calm down and get a bit more centered, and so does Mike.
So, next week in addition to having someone else clean the house, I am getting a prenatal massage and getting my hair done...having lunch with a girlfriend I havent seen in a while...and mostly I will try to relish in not being sick anymore and in being grateful and appreciative for this magical time of my life when I am on the brink of this passage into motherhood. Next week is all about easy girly treaty stuff that will make me feel pretty and calmer and a bit quieter.

Less than a month to D-Day!

Baby & Pregnancy update:
So, I am 36 weeks along...our baby is around 20.7 long and weighs about six pounds and according to my Obstetrician, the baby is now considered full term. My estimated due date is February 18th...but since most first babies are born later than the due date, I am trying not to get too anxious just yet, because it could be more than a month away still...I mean I might go to 42 weeks...who knows! But if I am anything like my mom, I may go into labor earlier than my due date...She went about 10 days early with both my brother and I...

Had a prenatal appt. with the "backup OB" this morning, and she was very very pleased. She measured my belly, listened to the heartbeat, looked at my protein and blood pressure, and said I was right on track. The baby is exactly the size that they should be at this point in the pregnancy, and the heartbeat is strong and normal. The baby is in a great position (head down, back and bottom easily felt at the top of my uterus). Hooray! I confess that I was somewhat worried about having a breech baby (which would mean a hospital birth would be mandated) so I have been doing a lot to try and help the baby stay well positioned -- I used the Spinning Babies theory of proper pregnancy posture, and since week 29 I have been getting chiropractic care from Jeanne Ohm, who specializes in pregnancy chiropractic care and the Webster technique....and it seems its all helped!

We also discussed postpartum care, my flu, and last minute emergency what-if's, and then she gave me the thumbs up for the home birth...Hooray! I am excited! And, tomorrow the midwives come for the 36 week home visit. They will check out the house, make sure I have all the supplies ready and we'll review everything for the birth. Since I also asked my mother to attend the birth, she will also attend the home visit so that she has more of a chance to get to know the midwives and to talk with Mike about how to provide support and divide the work during labor and delivery.

Other Life-Events Update
Well, the best of the BEST happened last week when our Sewer Curb trap broke, spewing raw sewage all over our basement floor. Fun Fun Fun. We are now waiting for the curb trap to be repaired, which is a very expensive (thousands of dollars) and in-depth job (involves waiting on the power company, sure-ing up a telephone pole, digging out the sidewalk eight feet down, etc..). Apparently this only happens about once every hundred years, and it happened on our watch. While we feel thankful that at least it happened last week and not three weeks from now, it is A BIT inconvenient to have no plumbing when you are 8 months pregnant. Until the trap is replaced, we have no plumbing in our house....so this week we are shacked up at my parents' condo while we await the utility company and plumbers. Ah how I LOVE old houses...Just LOVE them.
:)

Otherwise, we are doing okay. I have had a nasty cold for the last three weeks but my doctor insists it is something I will eventually get over and its nothing to worry about. Mike had a great ski weekend out in Colorado last week with his buddies Bret and Steve, and I am looking forward to the second baby shower which is this coming weekend - I admit that while I find myself very uncomfortable at the thought of showers, especially when its time to open gifts, it is really neat to get to see all the women in your community and family and have them gathered to help mark the passage into motherhood. And that is the part that I am looking most forward to for this weekend.

And, as for stuff, we really are pretty set, and I cant imagine how we could even be potentially getting more at this upcoming shower -- just last week, in fact, we got a free infant car seat (the best rated one) from our friends whose son just outgrew his, and we've got all the cloth diapers and newborn clothing needed for the first few weeks.

Mummers madness and why I will not be using Puffs Plus with Lotion or anything else with wierd chemicals on my baby

 
That's Mike with our adorable niece Maggie. They were jamming out to the mummers last Saturday, and enjoying the 70 degree weather! We had a great day.

And then like everyone who enjoyed too much mummering and unseasonably hot weather in January I got really really sick with a horrid cold. For three days I was down and out and barely coherent. And that brings me to the so-called miracle tissue...Puffs Plus with Lotion...turns out its not such a miracle tissue...its a nasty chemical laced piece of paper. After three or four boxes of puffs Plus with Lotion, and three days of constant nose blowing, I noticed that my face was unusually red and rashy. And then, on Wednesday night, I noticed that I was getting hives all around my face to the point where I had a red beard and mustache! Now when you are 8 months pregnant and feeling like a bloated cow, the last thing you really want is to be even more unattractive with a rashy red mustache. I was not happy. Ostensibly the rash was from something embedded in the tissues, because they were the only thing constantly touching my face for three days straight...I mean, I knew I was allergic to things with fragrance, but gee whiz, this was unreal. Thankfully a bit of aloe vera cooled down the rash and by this morning it wasn't quite a severe looking.

My tissue run-in was a good reminder that this new baby might also have sensitive skin...so any lotions, shampoos, disposable wipes or travel disposable diapers we use on the new baby are just going to have to be of a fragrance free nature.
Since we're planning on cloth diapering the new kid - for both environmental and budgetary reasons - I am not too worried about diaper chemicals, but as for the other stuff, I guess we'll probably have to look into everything and make sure that all of our washes/soaps/etc are fragrance free. Ah, a new challenge...just when I thought I was done worrying about the "stuff"...

Some pregnancy favorites

Freshbaby is a great resource that supports healthy eating habits for kids. They even have a new podcast and blog

Pregtastic - I love these podcasts they are funny and it is fun to listen to a bunch of pregnant women talk about the issues of immediate concern to them.

Mothering Magazine: This website has it all. I often check out the forums (which are very active) for good info and shared stories from moms who are into natural childbirth and other crunchy things like cloth diapering and whatnot.

Green Mountain Diapers: The ultimate resource for cloth diapering

Babble: An online magazine for parents by the editors of nerve.com

Labour of Love: Another interesting online parenting magazine

Families for Natural Living Philadelphia: A great online community of local folks and families interested in environmental issues and who support attachment parenting principles.

Baby Body Birth: The awesome birth class we took.

 

Who is this adorable little man? This is our new friend Jay Heiny-Robbie, who came to visit this week with his parents, Matt & Jen. We met them when we all lived in Charlottesville - they still live there, but will probably be relocating to Northern parts before too long. We miss them dearly but had a wonderful visit! And Baby Jay is just awesome. What a cutie pie! He's just 12 weeks old and already a good traveler and houseguest.

The pregnant crew

 

So we spent LAST New Year's Eve (ringing in 2006) with two couples -- Laurie & Drew and Emily & Christopher -- and guess what...this New Year's, all three of us are pregnant and expecting babies! I am expecting in February and Emily and Laurie are both expecting in May. Must have been something in that creme brulee last year...
That's Laurie to the far left, then me, then Emily.

Happy New Year!

So the New Year's was lovely but exhausting. We had a small open house where some friends and some family stopped in to say hello, and then we went to a lovely five course dinner at friends' of my parents who had a terrific roof deck view of the fireworks! The Jan 1 Philadelphia Mummers Parade was postponed due to rain, and is now happening next Saturday. Thank goodness because I was pooped from NY Eve and now I can actually look forward t it.

So, the coming highlights of this/next week:
1) Our friends, Matt & Jen, from Charlottesville are coming through town today with their new baby Jay.
2) mike has off today thanks to Gerald Ford
3) Mummers Parade on Saturday
4) Eagles playoff game on Sunday
5) Ohio State in National Championship Game on Monday

January 2007 baby and pregnancy update:
At 33 weeks and a few days, I am getting very big. Last night, we unpacked inventoried and put away some of the tiny baby clothes and watched as the baby did a Riverdance of sorts on the side of my belly when I got in bed. As we were watching the performance, Mike said "I know they will be stinky and smelly at times, but gee, won't it be so fun to have this tiny little baby in our bed with us?". We both smiled and I agreed. It will be neat to actually get to know this child after all this time speculating about him or her.

As for the basic stuff, we are really doing fine and have a surprising amount of stuff already. We have lots of infant clothes, and we already got the bugaboo stroller and this cool highchair called the TrippTrapp, thanks to our generous parents. We even have an exersaucer and baby bouncy seat thanks to my friend Cindy who keeps handing me the brand new stuff from her last baby, Conor. But we still need to get a few basic things:
1) The carseat
2) The changing table and pad (we'll probably go to Ikea)
3) The crib mattress and some sheets
4) The little stuff -- washcloths, diaper pins, stuff like that
5) A breast pump (since I plan to go back to work part-time, I want to be sure we're set up to continue breastfeeding during that time, I also want others to be able to watch and feed the baby if need be)

We are trying to get lots done in the house and in life so that we can really turn our attention to Baby McD when he or she arrives. Mike is taking a ski trip to Colorado, I am booking myself for lots of concerts and dinners with friends so that we maximize the last few weeks pre-baby.

Lying-in: Postpartum planning

After reading this great article on the practice of lying-in,
At rest in the arms of the mother: The postpartum practice of lying-in allows a mom to deeply bond with her newborn babes
by Katherine Gyles (see her blog here) we are beginning to consider a lying-in period of our own.

What is lying-in?
Lying-in is basically a time, immediately postpartum, where the mother and baby and dad are sequestered together and cared for by the father or other community members. The intention is to allow the mother to deeply bond with her newborn baby, to learn their cues and to learn how to breastfeed without any external pressure or visitors.

We found out early that our midwives prescribe two weeks of lying-in (and no stairs) for postpartum moms -- partly as a way to encourage them to stay in bed and bond with baby and also to heal. At first, I didn't think I could abide by this. But lately, as I get bigger and more tired, I understand why this prescription is a good idea... after all, you only have that first two weeks once in your and their lives. ...so why not close in and try to make it a special family bonding time? How could that NOT be beneficial? I have watched many a friend brag about how soon she was up and outta bed and 'back to normal', only to be really exhausting herself completely in the first six weeks postpartum. ...which brings us to a larger question: Why are women trying to pretend nothing happened when they have a baby? Why isn't it okay in our society to take some time to learn how to breastfeed, to sleep, and to bond with the new baby, keeping visitors at bay, until you have more rest and energy and a bit more of a hang for things?

Carol Gray, a grandmother and Doula in the Portland area, wrote a lovely blog entry about adequate postpartum care:
"Have we missed something by proclaiming that as women we can do it all - and do it well? What would it be like if each mother, surrounded by a cocoon of loving helpers, could rest and recover from birth at her own rate? Would it change the way we parent our babies? Would it change the way we think of ourselves as mothers? Would it change the bonds we form with our babies? Would the babies change? Who would those babies be as adults? Would they change the world?"

I just ordered this book about postpartum wellness. Can't wait to get it!

Disney Princesses and Baby Projectionists

Disney's rampant marketing to girls just plain offends me lately... this article in the Sunday New York Times What's wrong with Cinderella? really sums my feelings up well.

With the recent baby shower, the growing pile of new and hand-me-down baby gear and stuff that is accumulating in our home is growing into a daunting mass. People are asking things like "so is the nursery done?" and it seems to be causing some of my relatives great confusion when I say we aren't doing a nursery....my reasons for no nursery until baby comes:

1. Due to an odd house layout, we don't know which room to pick yet, and can't agree.
   
2. We have a huge bedroom and plan to have the baby share our room/bed for at least the first few months
3. We are superstitious.
   
4. We know that the baby won't know/care that he/she is sharing our massive bedroom versus getting their own.
   

Great blog entry that kind of sums up some of my feelings about the baby industrial complex scheme that everyone perpetuates: Resisting the Pull of Fabulous Baby Furniture

The Projectionists
One funny thing about having a baby is how many people project their own feelings onto you and tell you what you will do when the baby comes or how "you will see and change your ways". When I hear this, I think to myself is that they either
1) dont know me that well, or,
2) dont realize how well I know myself.

An example: When I was a kid, I would watch my mom make the thanksgiving turkey and every year I would be totally grossed out. I would say "Mom, I will never make a turkey.Its too gross". And my Aunts and grandmother would say "oh, just wait til you are married, you will change!" and laugh as I insisted I would not change on the topic of turkey. Well, I have been married five years and I haven't changed about turkey.... I not only do not make turkey, on the very first thanksgiving we cooked, I actually made my very sweet loving husband take the freshly killed turkey to my mothers house to prepare it so I did not have to watch the ordeal or have the grossness touch my kitchen. I still do not do turkey. My Grandmom was wrong. I knew myself better than she thought I did.

And so back to the baby projectionists... some of our friends would have us believe that life is over and everything will be wrecked when the kids arrive.... they constantly rave about "getting the baby on a schedule" and babyproofing the house. They are also the ones who seemed to have every single possible baby gadget and toy sitting in their living room, to the point where their home seemed to be inhabited by no one but a roving band of little kids. They keep saying "you'll try to go without the coffee table bumper pads, but you'll see how it really is, and give up like we did..." But I still refuse to believe that we will be like that...just giving over the house to the kids...will we really?

Will I get defeated and give up? Will I become a control freak who is obsessed with getting the baby on a schedule, like they insist I will? Or do I know myself and my capabilities better than they think I do? At this point, I feel pretty confident that if I stick to my intuition and use my nanny experiences, and stop listening to others, I will be just fine. I plan to adapt to what the baby needs versus trying to fit the baby into my life, and I think we'll all encounter less stress with that approach. Life will change, surely. And my house probably wont be as neat, but if Mike and I have anything to do with it, it wont become a Toys-R-US either.

I admire my friend Molly who is the eternal optimist on the topic of pretty tablecloths. She always has pretty tablecloths on her table when I go there. The kids always spill stuff on them, but she just washes it and puts a fresh one on. She never replaces them with a plastic tablecloth or something 'more practical'. She never just gets rid of them all together. Her table always looks nice, and I love that about her.

Does Christmas have to change with kids?

This is our first Christmas at home in five years. It was Mexico in 2001, San Francisco in 2002, Mexico again in 2003, and again in 2004, then Miami last year....

...So it feels interesting and different to be here at Christmas, and maybe it's the coming baby, but we both seem to be seeing Christmas this year through the eyes of parents -- we're suddenly noticing that our laid back friends who have kids all seem to have these very high expectations of what Christmas should be (including how the grandparents should act, etc...) and they seemed to be getting their kids so many gifts. It is as if they see this as THE time to create absolutely picture-perfect family magical memories... and I guess in hearing their stories, I find myself questioning what Christmas will be like for me when I am the parent of one or more small children. Will I change?

At the moment, we don't really do holiday gifts for anybody...we really never have. It may sound 'grinchy' but it is actually incredibly freeing. Between our families, we usually exchange one gift pollyanna-style within each immediate family. And of course, we buy some small gifts for our two-year old niece...usually books or music. But that is about it.

I feel that we're fortunate that our families agree that Christmas is special when we spend time together, not when we get and give gifts. But will kids change all that? Will we get caught up in the rampant consumerism that Christmas becomes for so many families with young kids? Will our Christmas traditions suddenly grow to enormous proportions where I feel compelled to make lots of cookies and get them tons of presents for the kids so their memories can compete with the movies and books and their friends?

The New York Times had some great articles on Christmas and the gift giving frenzy -- one I liked in particular was How do you Outgrow a 13 foot tree? ...Now I can't ever see myself taking the trouble to leave gifts on our roof but it illustrates the absurd levels some people will go to in order to make Christmas this really magical time for their kids. To me, the magic can be simpler than that...but to each their own.

Updates

The most awful and tragic news is that my long time friend and college roommate, April Rodeheffer (now April Burbach), died on Friday morning, December 15, 2006. April was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer late last December and spent 2006 fighting that awful disease. She was 33 years old.

The weekend sadness and melancholy was broken up by a lovely morning visit with my friend Molly, followed by a baby shower party that my mom threw for me yesterday. It was so amazing to have so many women who have been there for the pivotal life moments in one room channeling their energy and joy towards this coming baby. The baby made out really well too -- got lots of delightful clothes, toys and goodies. And of course, the grandmothers went a little crazy and bought some of the big ticket items...so we got the stroller, and the high chair we'd been hoping for.

Speaking of the baby, this little one has been kicking up a storm! I am 31 weeks along. According to a weekly pregnancy calendar, the baby weighs about 4 pounds and is about 15 to 17 inches tall and the skin is becoming less translucent and bones are finally hardening at this point.

Also, I had my OB and midwife appointments this past week, and all looks great. My OB said (in the whole 10 minutes I got with her) "this baby is following the textbook" and "I am very happy with how this pregnancy is going", and the midwives, took a bit more time (1.5 hours on average) to review my diet and check the baby's size, position and fluid levels as well as explain how the baby is positioned. We also talked about pediatricians and started talking about the birth plans. Only 4 more weeks to go until I am 36 weeks and can get the absolute go ahead from the OB and midwives for a homebirth!

No real decisions on names for us yet. We like the same old ones we've liked for a while, but the truth is we will wait to decide on anything until after we meet this little one!!

The Pre-Baby Vacation

...I encourage everyone to do it. Here we are in lovely Sanibel Island, Florida for a week of R&R. What have we been doing? Stocking up on sleep, visiting the hot tub (well Mike has bee visiting the hot tub, I just watch), swimming, walking, reading lots of good books and just hanging out together. Its been lovely so far -- a nice way for us to relax before the holidays, and to reconnect a bit as a couple before the baby comes. We've had time to discuss names (nope! not saying!) and the house projects we have to finish, all the other future changes we're about to encounter (known and unknown).

Many people think we are strange for having waited so long to have kids...but really, we are, this week, feeling so fortunate to have been married five whole years and to have had all that time to work through marital and life challenges together, to have spent a lovely amount of time together as a couple, to have traveled, to have had so much fun by ourselves before we welcome a new member of the family into our lives. And while it will certainly be an adjustment to become a 'three some', we are really feeling like we are ready for this baby to make his or her entrance into our lives. We just feel so excited to know who they are and what they will be like, to show them the wonders of the world and take them on great adventures.

At this point, we're in Week 30 of the pregnancy, so we have about 10 weeks left. The baby is moving and grooving at night in my belly, and I am getting bigger by the minute. So far, I have gained about 20 pounds. 

Cool stuff for kids and parents

Robin gave me this great calendar last year by the artist Nikki McClure. So as I looked for another one today, I found this cool first 1000 days baby journal she created. oooohhh ahhhh....

Check out this lovely family tree at Mahar Dry goods... And then there are the adorable Farm Friends Finger Puppets which are really too cute for words...

Oh Joy is a great blog on all kinds of cool papers and artsy stuff.